I’m back!
Did you miss me?
Wait. Don’t answer that. You’re here now and that’s enough for me!
Any-who, though I have strayed from my self-imposed blog duties, lately, I have a reasonable explanation. You see, writing the blog was proving to be a little too efficient at scratching the writing itch, when I really needed to focus more on scratching that itch with other projects I have in the works.
Think of it this way: you’re hungry and know that you should prepare a healthy meal to not only satisfy the hunger, but nourish your body in the process. But … there’s a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge, and it’s calling out to you. It doesn’t even need any preparation! It’s just sitting there, lonely and dejected. And, I mean, you just can’t let it suffer that way. Besides, you can always prepare the healthy meal AFTER you have a taste of the cake … you know, just to let it know that you haven’t forgotten it’s there.
Only, the quick taste you plan turns out to be a little more than that. After a quick taste, you just don’t have the heart to put the rest of that little piece of cake back into the cold abyss that is the fridge. So, you eat the whole thing.
What about the healthy nourishing meal? Well, who the hell is still hungry after that piece of rich creamy chocolate cake?
So, I put off the cake (blog) as kind of a dessert prize to enjoy after completing my nourishing meal.
Did I lose you?
Damn. I should have just come out and said that I completed my first full horror novel between blog posts. Then I edited, and re-edited, sent it to my favorite beta-readers with time to read my 85-plus k words, and edited some more. And, after all that, I have sent out my queries and am starting to get some bites. So, now here I am having my cake (and eating it, too).
I’ll be giving more info on that project and others in the future. For now, my horror debut will be this November, in a project of which I am endlessly proud to be a part. My poem, “Oh, Brother,” will appear alongside the works of the brilliant poets in Black Spot Book’s, UNDER HER EYE. Here’s a link about that!
So, long story short-ish, I neglected my usual Mother’s Day post, but I had my reasons.
Coincidentally, last night, I was reminded of the days when My Moon, My Sun, and Little Man (who is now almost taller than I am at 5’11”) were newborns. It wasn’t because Mother’s Day was this past weekend. It didn’t really have anything to do with the kids at all. But, a muscle memory that had been dormant since those days, and the days of toddlers with the pukes was triggered…
Our sweet pup, Dante, wasn’t feeling well. Or … maybe he was seeking revenge for having been left at the “doggie spa,” while we were away at My Moon’s GRADUATION FROM COLLEGE (YAY! And, I’ll get to that after I get this little bit of nasty out of the way).
When an 80-lb dog isn’t feeling well, you sleep reeeeeaaal light. So, I was up pretty much every three hours, running him to the backyard, telling him he was going to be ok, and trying not to fall down the stairs of our newest house (which are significantly different from those of the last house, and the ones before that).
Ewwww gross!
I know. But, it caused my sleep-deprived mind to dive back to the days of frequent nighttime motherly duties so many years ago. That, combined with the fact that My Moon graduated (cum laude! … if you only knew what this kid put us through in high school…) a mere two days before MOTHER’S DAY, shifted me into full nostalgia mode and sleep-addled musings about where we all are today.
Can I still post a Mother’s Day post, even though this year’s Mother’s Day is in the past?
Hell, yeah! I’m at that point in my life where I claim birth months instead of just my birth”day,” and understand that Mother’s Day is EVERY FREAKING DAY.
Life doesn’t give a hoot about our cute little holiday calendars and inevitably has other shit in mind for those “official” days inked onto to them.
Point in case, the Mother’s Day when My Moon spontaneously popped her elbow out of place, and I was interrogated at the hospital. We later found out she was prone to nursemaid’s elbow … and then even later found out that she has a connective tissue disorder. Oh, how I would LOVE to track down THAT ER doc. Grrr.
This Mother’s Day, saw me all alone driving a rented minivan stuffed with the belongings My Moon had accumulated in her apartment during her very last year of college. As I trekked along the open roads, crossing those invisible, manmade lines that divvy up our country, I thought about how far she has come.
Between filling station stops and jump scares involving the light saber she crafted into an accessory for her Star Wars Second Sister Halloween costume sliding along the tops of the boxes to tap the back of my neck, I tried to think of advice I could offer for this next phase of her life.
Side note: she has successfully passed the phase in her life when she knew she knew it all and I knew nothing, and now once again seeks my advice. It feels good not to be a blithering idiot anymore … at least as far as she is concerned. Wink wink.
And, the first words of advice that popped into my mind were to take all advice with a grain of salt (sometimes an entire shaker), no matter the source. As we travel through life and its various stages, the advice we offer inevitably changes.
So, what advice will I offer her now?
When I was younger, I was a “keep your eye on the prize,” kinda gal. Now, my advice would be not to lose sight of your goals, but that it is good to let your eyes wander, lest you risk missing the beauty along the way. Enjoy the scenery; go on spontaneous side journeys; meet new people and enjoy the time they travel alongside you. Goals can change, but you can never get back the time between them.
Also, there’s a finer line than you think between being a bull in a china shop and walking on eggshells. I find it’s best to self-correct when we find ourselves too far over on either side.
As far as any other advice, I guess I’ll just try my best to phase into the mom they all need when they need me, while I continue to grow on my own journey, pursuing my own goals.
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